Clearing up the Clutter..

For those who know me, you probably recognize that I love a sense of order, the list of tasks with checkboxes to mark off. My mind cannot function under clutter and chaos. This is probably why I took such a long break from blogging, in fact expressing my thoughts in any more than 140 words (the twitter word limit). There was simply a lot going on and my attention was diverted. It always takes time to put the shelves back in order.

I have been wanting to write down my reviews of books and food for a little while now even if I didn't really think about penning my thoughts. I revisited my blog today after perhaps 6-7 months. Like a person stumbling upon a lost house, I wandered through the pages, looking at my own thought progression from five years ago to now, and it pleased me to see what I had been thinking about. It felt like regaining a lost part of myself. I guess it motivated me enough to write again. Maybe I will look back at this someday, who knows!

I am a big dreamer. I live in a world of my own and think about it as I walk down the street. The people on the street probably think i'm nuts, but I do love my own company. I wonder if people dream this way as well...It would be nice to see if anyone does, though I wouldn't be too surprised if no one does.

I think I've identified my genre of books and movies. It is usually the biography. Exotic cultures add more pizzaz of course, which is probably why I'm curious about oriental stories and eastern tales. I am not much of a novel reader anymore though I grew up on several. I enjoy people's thoughts a lot. To be human is intriguing in itself, and that is what is driving my reading habit these days. Recommendations are always welcome!

Fall..

It is indeed surprising and incomprehensible how four years have gone by in the wink of an eye.. I still vividly remember that crisp afternoon in August when I set foot in this country that I have grown to love. So many seasons, so many memories. Time goes by slowly as the minutes slip past and gallops through the days and weeks.

It has been an interesting few months, with weekends bringing new news and headlines, lots of joy and cheer and a few very sobering moments as well. Through all of it, i feel a renewed sense of faith, a sense of hope and love in the world that surrounds me, the people i know and the forces that i believe in. Human life thrives on hope, and it is the same hope I live by as well.

I have been listening to Bhaja Govindam, one of my favorite religious songs of all time composed by Adi Shankara and sung by M.Subbulakshmi. I do not know if it is her divine voice or the touching meaning of the song, which almost anybody can relate to, but it always calms me and gives me inner peace.

Some of the profoundly deep things that the song suggests are truly beyond religion. They touch on the true nature and meaning of life. I bet every one has felt in some way or the other.

The song suggests that the world we live in is an illusion, and that we have to look harder to understand the true meaning of live. When are people remembered? when do they live on? The people we remember the most are the ones that influence us in some way or the other. The Hindu concept of a chain of rebirth is based on the same idea. To break the chain, one has to attain true knowledge of "Brahman". I can certainly not give proof of rebirth, but I can say for sure that to attain permanence in this life, we have to do something that touches people in one way or more. A writer or a movie maker makes the future generations think. A political reformer paves way for a different way of life. A mother imparts to her children not just her love, but also a sense of morality she lives by.

We knowingly or unknowingly touch so many peoples lives as we go through the course of our own. We can only think about how we can make all those contacts positive, even though they may not always be. We also need to learn to be content with what comes through actions already performed in the past, they cannot be altered, much as we would like them to be.

The song tells us that the life of man is as uncertain as rain drops on a lotus leaf. The whole world remains a prey to disease, ego and grief. We do not know who our wife or son really is. Strange is this samsara. Who are we? Where have we come from?

We are born again, we die again, and are born again to stay in the mother's womb. It is indeed hard to cross this boundless ocean of samsara. Through this endless cycle, we just need to guide ourselves with our inner consciousness or god, to make all our influences positive and all memories happy. It is not an ordinary effort, but it is definitely one we should try to make..

Random thoughts

It's tax season yet again, and I can't believe I'm filling my fourth years' tax return.. where did the days go? It seems like just yesterday, my first delighted look at Boston, the first few Malden days, tiny apartment rooms, student life littered with studies, outings and new friendships. A handful of people to call friends after the two and a half wonderful years. At which point did we all really connect? Was it over the cups of coffee, the walks through the alleys on the way to work shifts? weekends? over assignments in the library? Somewhere along the way to the riverbank watching the sailboats? It is tough to say. Life is delightful in the twists and turns that it abundantly supplies, there is little time to wonder about the road not taken and likewise.

Busy days at work, nights before the TV, visits to the gym time permitting, an evening walk with a friend.. it what life looks like these days; the slow change of the cold winter to a crisp spring.. dewdrops on grass blades and the first cherry blossoms and tulips catch my eye on my morning walk.. I wish I had more time to take it all in, and I resolve to wake up early over the weekend to get a closer glimpse, but somehow sleep invades, and the sun is pretty high up in the sky before I take a step outside. I am like Mark Twain's Tom however, and Saturday morning is always pure delight, be it early or late.

New york, New york, my home away from home, is also readily accessible, and I love the walks down the streets, especially the busy crossings where the road seems to extend to the horizon.

I plan meticulously on fridays, for a busy weekend with several options for self entertainment; and then end up executing exactly half of the plan. Yet the best weekends are the ones that spring surprises on you with no warning whatsoever. Will this be one of those weekends? I wonder..

Ruminating

It's almost midnight, and here I am back again, typing at my little PC that I have grown to love. I shopped as did a million others here, on black Friday, taking advantage of the sales that retailers put out to prevent a gloomy year end forecast. This year, I did something intrinsically different, I went towards the Christmas aisle, shopping for a tree. Call it the living alone crisis. I have become bored not celebrating festivals at all, doing the same thing over and over, that I felt this time I needed my Navarathri or Karthigai (which by the way seems to be tomorrow, coincidence?) fix for myself. Hence the tree, complete with tinsel, lights and glass ornaments. The last time we had a tree was about ten years ago or more, me and my cousins being whimsical as ever, making a makeshift tree out of tropical evergreens (as they all are) and homemade ornaments. I still remember our presents under the tree (towels with Huey, Dewey and Louie on them).

I have always loved Christmas trees, and I am still pretty proud, and keep looking up at the shimmering lights. Strangely, the tree makes me feel more at home, keeping me company, as a puppy might be.

These days I feel lonely, content, depressed yet satisfied all at the same time. I can't help but wonder why is it so difficult for people to give others a chance at their own life. Everyone has their own two pence of ideas, given any topic, whether the other person needs it or not. This is so connected to our culture, which is why I love to hate it at times. I sometimes love my disconnect and revel in it as often as I do feel it and get that invariable urge to pick up the phone and call somebody or keep my T.V. on for company's sake and remain sleepless until early into the next day.

Culture, society, rules.. why do they matter? why do we care? I can keep up with anything, as long as it does not interfere my lifestyle. The moment it does, I do not like it anymore. I am happy with not knowing who my neighbors are, yet smiling and wishing them good morning, or holding the door open for them. I love hanging out with friends, as they don't tell me what to do with my life. It is my own to live. I just hope and wish that we (including me) learn to accept things as they are, and not want things to change for us, unless it involves us and only us. Then I guess it is a different story.

October

So here you are, probably bemused by the color change, or you must have guessed by now.. This is October, the month of Halloween, the hallmark of a fall harvest, the time to make the trip to the mountains to view the lovely colors of fall in resplendent display, go pick apples as I have done time and again in the crisp New England air. October is also National Breast cancer awareness month, a month to take a few minutes to visit your physician for an examination if you are a woman like me, or to encourage someone you know to do it instead of being lazy.

Time magazine had its cover story dedicated to Breast cancer awareness this week, and it took me by surprise that one in every eight women will be diagnosed with Breast cancer this year. The full story can be viewed
here. It also stunned me to see that the highest incidence of cases was here in the US and the highest number of deaths due to breast cancer were in my home country. Yet, upon reflection, over the last few years, we have seen it happening several times to someone near and dear.

Cancer, unlike many other diseases cannot be totally prevented. Genetics do play an important factor, but its likelihood of occurrence or its potency can be reduced with a few simple measures:

1. Learning how to do a good examination, is very important. With the ubiquitousness of you tube and Google video that brings home several funny clips on demand, also comes the added advantage of seeing and leaning how to do an exam decently. If you haven't' already, do take the time check out the videos.

2. Get yourself an ashtray; a nice expensive crystal one. and extinguish that cigarette once and for all. Smoking is a known carcinogen. But well, if you are a smoker, heart disease is more likely to come and claim you in a New York Minute.

3. Lifestyle changes. A good balanced diet and a moderate amount of exercise will not only keep your arteries unclogged , but also help with other bonuses. Thirty extra minutes of walking five days a week can help in ways unimaginable.

A few simple steps can one day save you or a loved one. So do remember to schedule time in your calendar to make the trip to your doctor's office. Visit the official site for more information.

Random

When we age, it does happen quite fast. The days fly by so quickly and before you realize it, another year has gone by and another birthday approaches. It is quite hard to digest the fact that a sweet sixteen was a long time ago, more so because of the responsibilities that people expect you to take over automatically, once you reach a certain age. These days, I can sense the pauses in conversation, as I don't want to talk about certain things. They are better left unsaid.

The city is becoming hotter. I remember this time last year, when I walked down Newbury steet with my friends, as we tried some of the fabulous culinary choices around the area. It was a carefree time, a life that I still yearn for. Somehow, things dont' feel the same anymore. New York, once so fascinating has now become routine. There are like, exactly seven places that I visit day and again. Yet, it does not have the same tranquil vibe as the Christian science center in Boston. A walk around the reflection pool was enough to pick up my spirits, any day.

The weekend was so much fun. My friends helped bring New York to life, and I struggled at one AM to keep my eyes open to enjoy the poker game that I kept cribbing about (well, thats' just me). Time flies so fast when you have company. I wish I could accumulate my days off and just enjoy them together with friends, rather than have restless weekend after weekend. I guess that it is not in my hands, like so many other things. Had they been, would it make things better? Or is the grass greener by the muddy bank? I wonder..

Graduation

It was the perfect weekend for a happy graduation cermony. Boston, welcoming as always, was crisp & cold. I did shiver, but I loved it. Starting from the trip to the temple on saturday morning in Santosh's new car, a rushed run to to Matthews arena after a long search for unavailable parking, I and Sudan finally made it to the stands, where Natesh, Prabhu and Vikram were already all set. We made it to the stadium, filled with happy friends, proud parents & relatives. A very elating ceremony, one school song and the star spangled banner later, we were the proud graduates.

Holding the diploma (that I received two months ago in the post, by the way), I felt happy, yet a small corner of my heart was feeling the sadness at the change that had set into our lives. Our sights of Boston this time were filled with the certain knowledge that we were not going to be hading back there anytime soon, living that tranquil life, chatting over coffee at the local starbucks, with trips to the local Blockbuster. I have never been as attached to any place.. this kind of reminds me of what my friend Preetha wrote; Somehow I do not think it is the people alone that make a place so dear.. there may be a variety of factors. Of course, good company is very important but there is something about certain places.. the magic aura is infectious.

We had the best two nights of poker, movie nights (Spiderman, which did suck), long holiday-esque lunches, great company and laughter, lots and lots of it..

I have had my share of good times and bad times in Boston, but my mind recollects the good times much better..I hope I can say the same of future days to come..

Fitness freak..

Or at least something I have been aspiring to become, over my lunch breaks at work. Ever since I joined the Wellness exchange at work, the group classes encompassing Yoga, Pilates, boot camps, steps & cardio kickboxing have been lots of fun! The exercise does make me pretty hungry as I head back home in the evening, but it is totally worth it.

We are all obsessed with health & fitness in some way or other, be it the diet coke we substitute for our regular fizzy soda, or the extra spoon of oil that we avoid while cooking. We have our own reasons, that range from losing weight(duh) to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Of course, like everyone else, I have tried the fad diets and the green teas. But now I am increasingly beginning to see that what matters is a healthy nutritious diet. So here are some of my tried & true observations:

* It's all about the calories. Eat what you like, but keep it under your daily requirement.

* Anything that is natural is good for you, even if it is not low fat. (Think milk, avocados, Bananas)

* Don't snack on an energy bar before hitting the Gym, that stuff is for the serious athletes. You will do just fine with a banana.

* Cut out the multiple servings of fluid calories (the second coffee with cream, soda,juice). If you must drink, go for herbal teas and diet soda(not regularly). Skip the fruit juice & opt for the fruit instead.

* Do not replace your favorite foods (potato chips etc.) with low calorie substitutes. It will not make you lose your cravings. Have a smaller portion instead.

* Lots of veggies, low on the carbs.

* Try different exercise routines everyday. If you are not a gym rat, try walking around your apartment for an hour.

The above pieces of advice are from me to my own self, as I struggle along with my fitness regime, just like you all do!

Women

I was reading a very interesting post written by my friend Divya. You can find it here. The post reminded me of something Carrie said in Sex and the city..

"Are women just waiting to be rescued? If prince charming had never come by to kiss her, would snow white still be lying there? Or would she have eventually woken up, got a job, a baby with the help of her local sperm bank and moved on

Code, Party, Cold and the like

I guess the title kinda sums it up. I have been doing a lot of the first, attended the second today and have been tolerating the third (if not yelling back at it) for a week. I went to Ikea last weekend with my friend Jayshree. It could only be described as a perfect day.. Shopping with a friend.. We spent five (yes five) hours at the store! It was chilly that day, but I have learned to like chilly thanks to Boston. But what came later; to say the least, was not pleasant stuff.

Later on Sunday, me and my friends went to this very good Indian restaurant (If they have masala dosa and mango ice cream on the buffet, then hell yeah, it's good). Then we wanted to check out Zodiac, but we went to Wild Hogs instead. It was silly, but funny.

Back to the work week, I guess the cold has given me the flu.. The illness sucks, but at least you eat less ;-)

Looking back to this time last year, in Amsterdam.. It was cold but we were too exited to notice. The canal tours, The Anne Frank house that I wanted to see since I was a little girl, and tours to places known and unknown..

Have you ever noticed that a perfect day is more perfect when you rethink it? It may have been but a run of the mill ordinary day, but the people that enriched it and the lights and the sounds make you want to hold on to it forever? If we only chose to rethink every day as a tranquil one, does it just require a strong mind and nothing else? Sure a day with friends beats everything, but sitting on sateen sheets and thinking of life and everything about it is not too bad either!

Company of course rocks, but spending time with your own self is not too bad either! As you are with someone whom you understand the most :)

Two Quotes that I love, from the show I love

"After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

Friendship!

I dedicate this post to this universal relation. Yesterday I was wondering about the exact definition of this term, which we use so commonly in our everyday lives.

So what exactly is this friendship? Are all the people whom we know our “friends? Or is it bounded by some special limitations like “You can only refer to a person as a friend, if you have at least had two or more conversations with him/her? “

I multitask a lot, and I do different sets of activities with different set of friends. The person whom I shop with is not the person whom I see a movie with, or the person to whom I grumble to at the end of a bad day or the person with whom I fight for no reason at all.

Of course, I have friends with whom I do all of the above. I call them “best friends” – An elevated status of friendship.

But most often, we use the term friend to represent a person with whom we have shared one or more conversations. We may not anything more about the person except his name (say) and his apartment number, or the route he takes to work (If it coincides with yours), or the place where his dad works (It may be the same place where your dad works ;-) ). i.e. We just know the one/more details that makes us call them “friend”.

Should me have a more intimate term for people we know better (best friend, bestest friend) ; or do we find our relationships too complicated to categorize neatly into labeled boxes?

What do you people think?